"I do not believe in the idea that going through pain like this is something to be grateful for. That it somehow makes me a stronger person, or more empathetic. I am not grateful for my pain. But I am grateful for the person I have become in spite of it."
I have followed Lara Parker on Buzzfeed for awhile now. She was one of the only voices I was readily able to access when I received my very own Endometriosis diagnosis. I have so much respect for the way she showed up and offered her own life experience with vagina problems. I know I am not alone when I say that reading her articles made me feel less isolated in a time when isolation and I were very familiar with each other. At the time of my diagnosis, there were no other voices in the community openly discussing what I was experiencing and I will always be grateful to her for showing up in such a vulnerable way, to discuss something so personal.
I say all of that to convey how important it is for books like this one to be out in the world. When I turned to books from other people's perspective on living with endometriosis shortly after my diagnoses, I found none. Instead, I found a lot of medical journals that I read and understood about 20% of the text. The lack of material out there on something that 1 in 10 women suffer from is astounding to me. This fact alone makes Parker's book an important, timely read.
Vagina Problems covers so much of what it is like to experience pelvic pain without answers. Lara talks about living with chronic pain and the challenges of feeling like you are taking up space in a way people are uncomfortable acknowledging. The chapter discussing the complete lack of help doctors have to offer people suffering from chronic pain was so eerily accurate it was difficult for me to get through. All of these topics are so important, and I feel Parker gave voice to a myriad of issues too many are familiar with.
The struggle that I had with getting through this book was the redundancy in writing and in pain explanations. Every page felt familiar because parker had said it in a slightly different way several times before. A lot of phrasing was repetitive and she would give vague details of a life experience in one chapter only to go into the same story several chapters later in greater depth. This book felt spread a little thin. I wondered several times If maybe she didn't have enough content for a full book and tried to stretch it a little farther than it could go physically. There is a lot of fluff here and I almost feel like Vagina Problems could have benefitted from one more round of editing, or maybe even rearranging chapters for a better flow. Do not get me wrong, I think Parker is an excellent writer, I just feel this particular book could use a little extra finessing.
The very fact that a book like this is going to be out for public consumption gives me hope that people can reach a greater understanding of what it is like for chronic pain sufferers. I hope that books like Vagina problems will eventually push the medical field to advocate for their patients. In my own experience, and in the experience of Lara Parker, patients have to beg and plead to be believed and treated with the kind of care and respect that they deserve in order to receive a formal diagnosis. This HAS to change and in my opinion, publishing a book like this is a step in the right direction.
Reviewer's note: A copy of this book was given to me in exchange for an honest review.
You can find the book Vagina Problems: Endometriosis, Painful Sex, and Other Taboo Topics on a bookshelf near you on October 6th 2020!!!!
⭐️⭐️⭐️/ 5 stars
Comments